Letting Go

Been pondering how last summer I was at a weight I like for myself.  And it seemed easy to stay there.  A combination of things got me there without really 'trying',  mainly a regular work schedule and getting sick for a month, such that I was so tired that I didn't eat after dinner.  Once I was at that weight, as I said, it was easy to stay there.  I didn't obsess about it.  Just ate less overall and didn't eat after dinner usually.  And ate pretty healthily but didn't completely deny myself anything.  I stayed at that weight all last winter (a year ago), spring, and summer on my Greece cruise and trip to San Diego (where I surfed for the first time).

Then when school started again last fall, I started eating treats at night.  Gained 5 lbs. in fall.  Another 5 over the holidays.  Pretty much have stayed around there within a couple of pounds since.  Food and especially sweets are the comfort I turn to.  Like a lot of people.  I don't understand why I didn't turn to them during that particular time.  Doesn't matter.  Just need to go back to that.

 I always try too hard at things I want.  Somehow have to keep re-learning to not try so hard!  How do you do that?  You let go.  That seems to be a lesson I am learning over and over my entire life.  Letting go.  What does that mean??  For me it means putting some effort in to reaching goals, but not too much.  Don't focus only on what I want.  Lighten up, laugh, have moderation, open up to other people, serve others, be involved in things that interest me.  I guess it's just letting go of that image of perfection in my brain.  The closest I come to feeling like I let go is doing modern dance, which is probably why I love it (and the little surfing I've done feels like it could be that way also).  So here's to modern dance and surfing!!