Thursday, June 21, 2018
The Only Way to Really Live is to Get Sweaty
My youngest sister's boys (ages 11 and 9) attended a water sports camp this summer. They live in San Diego. They could choose water-skiing, wake boarding, surfing, kayaking, etc. They could do one activity in the morning, one in the afternoon. It sounds AWESOME! She said she has never seen them so completely wiped out at the end of the day as they have after this camp! I say, AWESOME! City Kids today don't have the opportunity to get wiped out like that physically as much as kids who grew up working on a farm. Of course, though we had an acre of land when I was a teen, I was definitely a city girl. Meaning, I didn't have to go out and bale hay or take care of horses or milk cows. I didn't have to take care of a garden (usually) or even mow the lawn.
I was waaaay too lazy. My parents tried. Dad's philosophy was, boys do the outside work (yard, animals, cars), girls do the inside work (cooking, cleaning). We had a garden very sporadically. As a teenager I admit I was very adverse to going outside. I might get dirty! The dirt and wind bothered my contacts! I would get sweaty, and I just showered so I did NOT want to get sweaty!
But I learned in college that the only way to really live is to get sweaty. I would get sweaty in dance class... and it felt good! I would get a little sweaty just rushing across campus from class to class. I finally realized it's ok to get sweaty. It's ok to not look perfect all the time. You could actually accomplish something if you didn't worry constantly about how you looked. Being perfectly clean and perfectly coiffed is over-rated.
Why Not?
I love the movie, We Bought a Zoo, staring Matt Damon. I love what his character, Benjamin Mee says, "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it." I can attest that this is true.
I remember water-skiing the very first time at about age 10. Our family friend, Ernie Stark, was pulling me in his little boat, and he was so kind and patient, and my Dad was kind and patient. I was petrified, but I kept saying to myself, "I can do it! I can do it!" I literally said this to myself out loud! I was scared of the deep water and the fish and other unseen things in the depths. Creeeepy! But I used twenty seconds of insane courage, and got up on my first try (two skis)!
I'm grateful my parents had us try many things growing up. You just don't know what you can do til you try. Our oldest son didn't know he could be a sprinter til he found (less than) twenty seconds of insane courage his senior year and did it. And he beat his athletic cousin! Proud Parent moment. Our daughter didn't know she was brave enough to jump off a cliff into the water at Havasupai til she found twenty seconds of insane courage and did it. Of course, the most important thing we get from these experiences is that we realize....I can do hard things. I can face scary things. I am stronger than I think. Suddenly, our world expands and we see more possibilities in view.. Because, why not?
I remember water-skiing the very first time at about age 10. Our family friend, Ernie Stark, was pulling me in his little boat, and he was so kind and patient, and my Dad was kind and patient. I was petrified, but I kept saying to myself, "I can do it! I can do it!" I literally said this to myself out loud! I was scared of the deep water and the fish and other unseen things in the depths. Creeeepy! But I used twenty seconds of insane courage, and got up on my first try (two skis)!
I'm grateful my parents had us try many things growing up. You just don't know what you can do til you try. Our oldest son didn't know he could be a sprinter til he found (less than) twenty seconds of insane courage his senior year and did it. And he beat his athletic cousin! Proud Parent moment. Our daughter didn't know she was brave enough to jump off a cliff into the water at Havasupai til she found twenty seconds of insane courage and did it. Of course, the most important thing we get from these experiences is that we realize....I can do hard things. I can face scary things. I am stronger than I think. Suddenly, our world expands and we see more possibilities in view.. Because, why not?
Monday, June 12, 2017
Just Look Up
Sometimes you take the garbage can out to the curb and suddenly...you see a beautiful sunset blossoming. You run in to the house, grab your phone, and start taking pictures. Then you realize it might look even cooler if you cross the street. Five minutes later you get a stunning picture of amazing cloud formations in an amazing summer evening sunset.
Heavenly Father works like that, doesn't He? You're focused on fixing the broken sprinkler, thinking about the argument with your husband or dwelling on the fat you've gained in your tummy, when suddenly you look up... and a miracle has happened: a beautiful sunset, your spouse apologizes, you realize your body still moves pretty well. All it takes is looking up.
Heavenly Father works like that, doesn't He? You're focused on fixing the broken sprinkler, thinking about the argument with your husband or dwelling on the fat you've gained in your tummy, when suddenly you look up... and a miracle has happened: a beautiful sunset, your spouse apologizes, you realize your body still moves pretty well. All it takes is looking up.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Sisters
No one can make me laugh like my sisters. It's gotta be because of shared experiences like: singing Bill Grogan's Goat in the back of the Suburban on summer road trips to Arizona, hauling wet carpet out of the basement after the sprinklers flooded the basement, and water skiing trips to Rocky Point Beach. But also because of our common love of chocolate, our common dislike (hate is such an ugly word) of our "Simmons" thighs (read- muscular thighs), and singing Do-Da-Do together a few too many times. But I laugh more when I'm around my sisters than with anyone else.
Truth be told, I have not gotten along with Sister 2 EVER in my life - til about 1-2 years ago. We are such opposite personalities, that we just never seemed to click. Everything was fun and games to her, everything was serious to me. Reading was dumb to her, reading was life to me! Sister 3 was the mediator between us. She could bring us together. It's not that we literally fought, but boy we bugged the heck out of each other just being who we were, what we laughed at, what was important to us, etc. I could tell by the snide little comments she would sometimes make (that perhaps she thought I didn't hear). And we were grown adults with our own children!!
Because we share common interests (our families, music and staying in shape) and struggles (we love sweets too much, and our thighs love them too.) we can laugh and cry together about them. But sometimes jealousy and pride rear their ugly heads and I wonder why one sister is blessed with such a positive personality and so much MONEY! Or another sister can eat candy bars every day and it doesn't show on her figure.
Truth be told, I have not gotten along with Sister 2 EVER in my life - til about 1-2 years ago. We are such opposite personalities, that we just never seemed to click. Everything was fun and games to her, everything was serious to me. Reading was dumb to her, reading was life to me! Sister 3 was the mediator between us. She could bring us together. It's not that we literally fought, but boy we bugged the heck out of each other just being who we were, what we laughed at, what was important to us, etc. I could tell by the snide little comments she would sometimes make (that perhaps she thought I didn't hear). And we were grown adults with our own children!!
But in the last few years, Sister #2 and I have finally found a commonality that has drawn us closer: our trials. We needed to connect with someone who knew us well, yet our mediator was too busy with her own life. So we started calling each other. Struggles I have been through in my life helped prepare me to reach out to her in her struggles. It's been good for both of us. We're still polar opposites, but life has softened the edges a bit. So the laughing continues!
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Living In Between
In this age of facebook, instagram, twitter etc. we see the big and small moments of our friends. We see their seemingly glamorous lives. But I am here to proclaim that 80% of life is the In Between Stuff. Not the awesome trip to London (which I did post pictures of), not my daughter's high school graduation or my son's college graduation. 80% of life is actually the mundane daily tasks of living. Getting up to go for a walk in the morning. Doing laundry. Paying bills. Running errands so that we have food and clothing. Fixing the broken sprinkler, putting together the new bookcase, weeding the garden. And yes, some people post about these mundane moments also. But often we just see those Ultra Special activities in life, and it makes us think our lives are boring because we didn't go to London/Hawaii/Disneyland. We're still here doing laundry, paying bills, going for a walk. But that's ok. It's like the pauses in a sentence or a song. We need the pauses, the silence, to catch our breath, to ponder on what went before. And to appreciate even more the Big Activities. Performing those daily mundane tasks with purpose and gratitude makes life deeper, more meaningful. It turns your life into a work of art.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Ode to Healthy Living
This is not my Diet Plan. This is not my Exercise Plan. This is not my Weight Loss Plan. This is my Ode to Healthy Living.
So.. I feel lucky that I was born to a family with healthy living habits. Regular meals, no extremes of eating, regular movement, a love of getting outdoors, and no pressure to look a certain way. But in college I did feel a bit of pressure. Then later I let the pressure of the world get in my head too much.
Here's what I've learned about Healthy Living these past 20ish years:
1) Use moderation and consistency. Today's media glamorizes the opposite of these - excess and getting what you want when you want it.
2) Keeping your weight down is 80% diet, 20% movement. That being said, we are made to move our bodies, not sit for eight hours a day! Walk, squat, push, pull, throughout the day. And by diet we mean real food, not packaged, processed stuff. How much real food do you eat?
3) Live your life! I don't believe God put us on earth to obsess over how many calories we ate today or if we got in 30 minutes of cardio or 30 minutes of strength training. What is your higher purpose? Be engaged in your life and search for that higher purpose.
4) Get outside. Too many of us in 'civilized' nations have 'Nature Deficit'. We are too disconnected from nature. Science has shown the healing effects of nature. So get outside and walk. Plant a garden. Hike, bike, notice the plants and animals and birds in your area. Become more connected to the nature in your corner of the earth.
5) See the people around you. Research shows that the people with meaningful connections to other people in their life are the happiest and heal the best from sickness. Reaching outside of ourselves to serve others helps us to grow and keeps us healthier.
So these are my Top 5 Things I've Learned about Healthy Living. Give them a try.
So.. I feel lucky that I was born to a family with healthy living habits. Regular meals, no extremes of eating, regular movement, a love of getting outdoors, and no pressure to look a certain way. But in college I did feel a bit of pressure. Then later I let the pressure of the world get in my head too much.
Here's what I've learned about Healthy Living these past 20ish years:
1) Use moderation and consistency. Today's media glamorizes the opposite of these - excess and getting what you want when you want it.
2) Keeping your weight down is 80% diet, 20% movement. That being said, we are made to move our bodies, not sit for eight hours a day! Walk, squat, push, pull, throughout the day. And by diet we mean real food, not packaged, processed stuff. How much real food do you eat?
3) Live your life! I don't believe God put us on earth to obsess over how many calories we ate today or if we got in 30 minutes of cardio or 30 minutes of strength training. What is your higher purpose? Be engaged in your life and search for that higher purpose.
4) Get outside. Too many of us in 'civilized' nations have 'Nature Deficit'. We are too disconnected from nature. Science has shown the healing effects of nature. So get outside and walk. Plant a garden. Hike, bike, notice the plants and animals and birds in your area. Become more connected to the nature in your corner of the earth.
5) See the people around you. Research shows that the people with meaningful connections to other people in their life are the happiest and heal the best from sickness. Reaching outside of ourselves to serve others helps us to grow and keeps us healthier.
So these are my Top 5 Things I've Learned about Healthy Living. Give them a try.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
On Backpacking 14 Miles and Finding Joy, August 2014
I started back to work this week. District meetings, faculty meetings, getting my new PE schedules, visiting each school to check in with Principals and teachers and check on my PE closets. And of course, lesson prep. I truly like being a teacher and working with kids. And I like having summers off, and I like going back to school in the fall (or end of August actually). I like getting back in to a routine during fall and winter. Ready to hunker down for the long haul, dealing with trials as they come, and taking breaks along the way as needed.
Kind of like the backpacking trip we took last weekend.
Our Leader-in-Adventure, Lynn (former River Guide with my husband), called us a couple of weeks ago and asked if we'd like to go backpacking to the Grandaddy Lakes area in the Uintah Mountains of Utah. We said yes. We rarely say no to Lynn.
So we planned and packed and bought a new 3-person backpacking tent (think light - 6 lbs.!), dehydrated meals and backpacking towels. I decided it was finally time to buy fancy easy-to-dry backpacking/camping/hiking pants, and did.
Drove to Hanna, Ut looking for the road to Hades Campground (Hades! Uh oh, is that a sign?!) and the trailhead to the Grandaddy Lakes. Couldn't find it. Asked for directions. They didn't help. Asked again and finally found it. Drove on dirt road about 6 miles, parked, loaded on our 30 lb. backpacks, and started hiking.
It was a beautiful afternoon (Fri., Aug. 15), 75 degrees. The trail was steep and rocky. Lots of rocks and evergreen trees. The trail was steep. I got tired. Did I say the trail was steep? But we plugged on, taking rest stops for water and snacks along the way. Four miles in. I'd say about three miles were uphill to the ridge of the mountain, then one mile downhill in to the basin where we could see the Grandaddy Lake, a beautiful, serene mountain lake.
Set up camp before dark, made dinner, sat around the campfire talking and laughing. But I was pretty wiped out. I guess I'm not as young as I used to be. So I headed to bed before the others.
Saturday we hiked another six miles (SIX MILES!) in a loop from our camp around to other lakes and back. Stopped at Rainbow Lake for lunch and photoshots as we jumped in to the cool mountain water.
I was tired again when we returned to camp. Took a nap before dinner. Enjoyed visiting and telling stories around the campfire that evening.
Camping like this helps you appreciate bathrooms with toilet paper and chairs to sit on when eating. But these are trials that can be dealt with. Hiking like this means we can take breaks as needed or wanted. Because we're tired or hungry, or because there is a beautiful view of a lake or tree or bird.
I need those breaks during school also. And I need to remember to see the beauty in my students and co-workers, because, as the saying goes,"the joy is in the journey, not in the destination"! It wasn't just the beauty of our camp site or the lakes, it was the whole experience of hiking, being tired, dealing with no toilets, and sharing stories with friends. The whole experience of teaching PE and teaching anger management and teaching responsibility for one's own actions. Laughing with the kids and crying with co-workers. The Joy is in being able to see the Whole Experience, and to find Joy in it. Here's to finding the Joy in another backpacking trip, and another year of school!
Kind of like the backpacking trip we took last weekend.
Our Leader-in-Adventure, Lynn (former River Guide with my husband), called us a couple of weeks ago and asked if we'd like to go backpacking to the Grandaddy Lakes area in the Uintah Mountains of Utah. We said yes. We rarely say no to Lynn.
So we planned and packed and bought a new 3-person backpacking tent (think light - 6 lbs.!), dehydrated meals and backpacking towels. I decided it was finally time to buy fancy easy-to-dry backpacking/camping/hiking pants, and did.
Drove to Hanna, Ut looking for the road to Hades Campground (Hades! Uh oh, is that a sign?!) and the trailhead to the Grandaddy Lakes. Couldn't find it. Asked for directions. They didn't help. Asked again and finally found it. Drove on dirt road about 6 miles, parked, loaded on our 30 lb. backpacks, and started hiking.
It was a beautiful afternoon (Fri., Aug. 15), 75 degrees. The trail was steep and rocky. Lots of rocks and evergreen trees. The trail was steep. I got tired. Did I say the trail was steep? But we plugged on, taking rest stops for water and snacks along the way. Four miles in. I'd say about three miles were uphill to the ridge of the mountain, then one mile downhill in to the basin where we could see the Grandaddy Lake, a beautiful, serene mountain lake.
Set up camp before dark, made dinner, sat around the campfire talking and laughing. But I was pretty wiped out. I guess I'm not as young as I used to be. So I headed to bed before the others.
Saturday we hiked another six miles (SIX MILES!) in a loop from our camp around to other lakes and back. Stopped at Rainbow Lake for lunch and photoshots as we jumped in to the cool mountain water.
I was tired again when we returned to camp. Took a nap before dinner. Enjoyed visiting and telling stories around the campfire that evening.
Camping like this helps you appreciate bathrooms with toilet paper and chairs to sit on when eating. But these are trials that can be dealt with. Hiking like this means we can take breaks as needed or wanted. Because we're tired or hungry, or because there is a beautiful view of a lake or tree or bird.
I need those breaks during school also. And I need to remember to see the beauty in my students and co-workers, because, as the saying goes,"the joy is in the journey, not in the destination"! It wasn't just the beauty of our camp site or the lakes, it was the whole experience of hiking, being tired, dealing with no toilets, and sharing stories with friends. The whole experience of teaching PE and teaching anger management and teaching responsibility for one's own actions. Laughing with the kids and crying with co-workers. The Joy is in being able to see the Whole Experience, and to find Joy in it. Here's to finding the Joy in another backpacking trip, and another year of school!
Survivor Addict, Fall 2014
My daughter says I need an intervention. Yes. I've gotten a bit consumed with watching old seasons of the tv show "Survivor" since last summer. Who wouldn't? I just love watching the drama of outwit, outplay, outlast. Of watching people fight to get the ball first or the puzzle together first, so they can win food to eat and not have to vote anyone out of the game. I love watching their bodies getting thinner while they annoy each other and plot who should be voted out. Is it the weakest person? The oldest? The most annoying? It tends to be those three types that are voted off first.
Why does this show keep me enthralled? I think it's because I'd like to THINK I could do well. Not so much in my 53 year old body. But in my 30's I could have definitely played with the best of them physically. And I think I would have done pretty good socially. Outwit I'm not so sure. But it would've been a blast to try.
I seem to keep finding myself drawn to physical challenges the last few years. A couple of years ago I read "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed, and that made me want to be able to do a challenging hike. So we hiked in to Havasupai. Then this summer we backpacked in to the Grandaddy Lakes in the Uintahs and camped. Been there. Done that.
Outwit? Hmmm. Don't even know how to play chess. Definitely want to work on strategy skills in my life. As I've said before, I'm married to an attorney but can't debate for the life of me. But strangely, teaching 60 children at a time and having to deal with their fights and their disobedience is actually teaching me something about debate!
Social game? All of life is a social game. Figuring out how to work with your spouse, your kids, your parents, your siblings, in-laws, boss, co-workers, friends, acquaintances at church.....and the list goes on and on.
So "Survivor" is a microcosm of life. But it would be nice if you could potentially end up with a cool million at the end.
Why does this show keep me enthralled? I think it's because I'd like to THINK I could do well. Not so much in my 53 year old body. But in my 30's I could have definitely played with the best of them physically. And I think I would have done pretty good socially. Outwit I'm not so sure. But it would've been a blast to try.
I seem to keep finding myself drawn to physical challenges the last few years. A couple of years ago I read "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed, and that made me want to be able to do a challenging hike. So we hiked in to Havasupai. Then this summer we backpacked in to the Grandaddy Lakes in the Uintahs and camped. Been there. Done that.
Outwit? Hmmm. Don't even know how to play chess. Definitely want to work on strategy skills in my life. As I've said before, I'm married to an attorney but can't debate for the life of me. But strangely, teaching 60 children at a time and having to deal with their fights and their disobedience is actually teaching me something about debate!
Social game? All of life is a social game. Figuring out how to work with your spouse, your kids, your parents, your siblings, in-laws, boss, co-workers, friends, acquaintances at church.....and the list goes on and on.
So "Survivor" is a microcosm of life. But it would be nice if you could potentially end up with a cool million at the end.
Personal History via Blogging, May 17, 2015
"Words cannot do justice to the pleasures of a good bookshop. Ironically." (On a bag from the London book store, Waterstones.)
I love going to bookstores. The way some women love to shop for clothes or shoes, I love to browse in a bookstore. New fiction, non-fiction, inspiring biographies, self-help. I have a nightstand overflowing with books I'm reading or plan to read. Whenever a problem crops up in my life, or there is something I want to understand or learn about, or I just want to excape real life, I automatically turn to books first. Somehow I think reading about something will endow me with the necessary understanding. I remember as a teenager my oldest brother saying, "All you do is read! You need to get up and do something in life!" I didn't listen to him much back then, but his thoughts came back to me in college. I purposely tried to make sure I was ACTING in my life, and not just living vicariously.
But all this reading has inspired me to attempt writing at times. I wrote my first story in fourth or fifth grade. Didn't write much as a teenager, but devoured a lot of books. But I was a VERY diligent journal keeper. Journaling helped me sort through feelings and life. And heaven knows there are tons of feelings during teen years! Journaling also helped me learn to organize my thoughts.
After much immersion in Living Life during college, I was married, living in a new state (Washington) with a new baby, and more time on my hands. I kept involved in dance, but my interest in writing crept up again. Mostly essays in my journal, though I dabbled in fiction and poetry.
More children came and life was busy. But I started reading about writing. Mainly fiction. Attended a couple of local conferences for writers and took an online creative writing course. I was so inspired by some of the fiction I read, that I wanted to write fiction that inspired others! The only problem was, I never had any good story ideas. My husband and daughter seem to have an endless supply of story ideas for their writing, but not me.
In the past year I started thinking perhaps fiction wasn't the way for me to go. I started this blog two years ago to help me practice writing and because I loved reading other women's essays on their blogs. Then I started thinking I should write my personal history, and perhaps that was a way to use my writing. So of course I looked up books on memoir writing on Amazon.com! I can't write my personal history without reading thoroughly about it, can I?
Then I sat down and decided to re-read all my blog posts on here. And an interesting thing happened: I realized my personal history is in my blog posts! This blog may not give an exact timeline of my life, but it definitely shares my slant on life and living. My tastes, my joys, my frustrations. And isn't that really what a personal history should do?
I love going to bookstores. The way some women love to shop for clothes or shoes, I love to browse in a bookstore. New fiction, non-fiction, inspiring biographies, self-help. I have a nightstand overflowing with books I'm reading or plan to read. Whenever a problem crops up in my life, or there is something I want to understand or learn about, or I just want to excape real life, I automatically turn to books first. Somehow I think reading about something will endow me with the necessary understanding. I remember as a teenager my oldest brother saying, "All you do is read! You need to get up and do something in life!" I didn't listen to him much back then, but his thoughts came back to me in college. I purposely tried to make sure I was ACTING in my life, and not just living vicariously.
But all this reading has inspired me to attempt writing at times. I wrote my first story in fourth or fifth grade. Didn't write much as a teenager, but devoured a lot of books. But I was a VERY diligent journal keeper. Journaling helped me sort through feelings and life. And heaven knows there are tons of feelings during teen years! Journaling also helped me learn to organize my thoughts.
After much immersion in Living Life during college, I was married, living in a new state (Washington) with a new baby, and more time on my hands. I kept involved in dance, but my interest in writing crept up again. Mostly essays in my journal, though I dabbled in fiction and poetry.
More children came and life was busy. But I started reading about writing. Mainly fiction. Attended a couple of local conferences for writers and took an online creative writing course. I was so inspired by some of the fiction I read, that I wanted to write fiction that inspired others! The only problem was, I never had any good story ideas. My husband and daughter seem to have an endless supply of story ideas for their writing, but not me.
In the past year I started thinking perhaps fiction wasn't the way for me to go. I started this blog two years ago to help me practice writing and because I loved reading other women's essays on their blogs. Then I started thinking I should write my personal history, and perhaps that was a way to use my writing. So of course I looked up books on memoir writing on Amazon.com! I can't write my personal history without reading thoroughly about it, can I?
Then I sat down and decided to re-read all my blog posts on here. And an interesting thing happened: I realized my personal history is in my blog posts! This blog may not give an exact timeline of my life, but it definitely shares my slant on life and living. My tastes, my joys, my frustrations. And isn't that really what a personal history should do?
Monday, August 11, 2014
Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water
We took a family trip to the Redwood Forest of northern California last week with our daughter and two of her friends. Beautiful campsite in the Six Rivers National Forest by Smith River. Tall trees surrounding us. Mild temperatures. The river was refreshing but not icy, perfect for cliff jumping and swimming. The stars like bright polka dots above us.
I loved it.
I love sleeping in a tent with fresh air, the sound of crickets and birds and the flowing river. It helps if my mattress is comfortable! I loved walking through Stout Grove in the Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park, dwarfed by the magnificent redwoods all around. There was a reverent feel there. Quiet. No sound of birds and bugs for some reason. As if all creatures showed reverence for the ancient redwoods.
I loved hiking 1 1/2 hours to the Boy Scout Tree, my feet on soft ground, my head under a canopy of giant redwoods, my breath steady. I love the rhythm of hiking and breathing. I loved hiking .5 mile to the Klamath River Overlook to see Eden - enormous roaring ocean, primitive cliffs, jarring boulders, fog-encased land.
The Chinese talk about five elements, or five states of change, which describe the interaction and relation between yin and yang: wood, fire, earth, metal, and water. I just know that I find myself wanting these elements around me in my life. I want less concrete and more earth. Less enclosed walls and more air. How do I find that balance in a modern life? I'm not ready to leave my comfy home and live in a yurt. But I do open my window at night. I do dig in my garden and plant beautiful things. I do want to display a picture of the ocean my husband took. And I do kiss my speckled beach stone morning and night, to remind me of the magnificence I saw and felt.
I think Mother Nature has quiety set up camp inside me.
I loved it.
I love sleeping in a tent with fresh air, the sound of crickets and birds and the flowing river. It helps if my mattress is comfortable! I loved walking through Stout Grove in the Jedidiah Smith Redwoods State Park, dwarfed by the magnificent redwoods all around. There was a reverent feel there. Quiet. No sound of birds and bugs for some reason. As if all creatures showed reverence for the ancient redwoods.
I loved hiking 1 1/2 hours to the Boy Scout Tree, my feet on soft ground, my head under a canopy of giant redwoods, my breath steady. I love the rhythm of hiking and breathing. I loved hiking .5 mile to the Klamath River Overlook to see Eden - enormous roaring ocean, primitive cliffs, jarring boulders, fog-encased land.
The Chinese talk about five elements, or five states of change, which describe the interaction and relation between yin and yang: wood, fire, earth, metal, and water. I just know that I find myself wanting these elements around me in my life. I want less concrete and more earth. Less enclosed walls and more air. How do I find that balance in a modern life? I'm not ready to leave my comfy home and live in a yurt. But I do open my window at night. I do dig in my garden and plant beautiful things. I do want to display a picture of the ocean my husband took. And I do kiss my speckled beach stone morning and night, to remind me of the magnificence I saw and felt.
I think Mother Nature has quiety set up camp inside me.
The Knot in My Heart
I resist things. I don't know why, but I've noticed I do. I resist change, I resist suggestions from my husband, I resist trying things differently, I resist letting myself be softened. Resist, resist, resist. It's kind of like a knot I have in my forearm, where the muscle is soooo tight. I keep rubbing it trying to loosen it up.
My Mom says I was born about two weeks after my due date, and that I must have had a hard time deciding if I really wanted to come to earth. Maybe I resisted coming to earth. I have a hard time making decisions sometimes. Or maybe lots of times. Do I eat this or that at a restaurant? Should I take this job or that job? Should I decorate my room this way or that way? Sometimes I just labor way too much over decisions. And LABOR is the right word for it! The problem is, if I'm going to decorate, I want it to be Just Right. If I take a job, it should be Just Right.
For some decisions, this isn't a problem. I can take forever to decorate my room. No one else cares or sees (except my husband). It can be more problematic at a restaurant or when taking a job. My husband has been a good example to me of not-laboring, or Just Do It. Don't worry about planting the garden perfectly, just turn the dirt over and throw some seeds in. Don't worry about weeding perfectly every week, just pull a few weeds for five minutes every week. He has been a good example of NOT resisting ideas or change or doing hard things or suggestions from me. He has truly accomplished a lot in his life because of this.
Are the resistance and the indecision related? Maybe this resistance is like a knot in my heart. I've always considered myself a very obedient, good person. Someone who wanted to do 'good' and live 'right'. But I've discovered this dang knot in my heart. So now I'm working on rubbing it and trying to loosen it up.
This could take a while.
My Mom says I was born about two weeks after my due date, and that I must have had a hard time deciding if I really wanted to come to earth. Maybe I resisted coming to earth. I have a hard time making decisions sometimes. Or maybe lots of times. Do I eat this or that at a restaurant? Should I take this job or that job? Should I decorate my room this way or that way? Sometimes I just labor way too much over decisions. And LABOR is the right word for it! The problem is, if I'm going to decorate, I want it to be Just Right. If I take a job, it should be Just Right.
For some decisions, this isn't a problem. I can take forever to decorate my room. No one else cares or sees (except my husband). It can be more problematic at a restaurant or when taking a job. My husband has been a good example to me of not-laboring, or Just Do It. Don't worry about planting the garden perfectly, just turn the dirt over and throw some seeds in. Don't worry about weeding perfectly every week, just pull a few weeds for five minutes every week. He has been a good example of NOT resisting ideas or change or doing hard things or suggestions from me. He has truly accomplished a lot in his life because of this.
Are the resistance and the indecision related? Maybe this resistance is like a knot in my heart. I've always considered myself a very obedient, good person. Someone who wanted to do 'good' and live 'right'. But I've discovered this dang knot in my heart. So now I'm working on rubbing it and trying to loosen it up.
This could take a while.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Old Friends - July 13, 2014
This past Wednesday I met my high school friend for dinner. She was in town for a work conference. I am SO BLESSED with wonderful high school friends. It was so fun to catch up! When you've known each other this long, it is just comfortable. We pretty much know all of each other's 'stuff'. And we seem to have a lot in common. Anyway, it's just great to have girlfriends who can be your pyschologist; who know you, your background, the ups and downs you've had in life. They listen and empathize and love you with all your faults. That's what life is about. Creating relationships like that. I'm blessed to have some.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
We All Just Want Positive Attention
When I started going to yoga classes back in 2003, I found a class that I loved. It made me work hard physically, it appealed to me intellectually, and the teacher would give me positive praise! How often do we, as adults, get positive praise somewhere??? Not often. I can't believe what a difference that made to me. The teacher purposefully learned everyones name so she could give positive feedback.
In a teacher development workshop last week, I realized again the importance and effectiveness of positive reinforcement/feedback. Research shows that when you praise a specific behavior a child does, the likelihood of them doing it again increases tremendously, AND other students will mimic the behavior in hopes of getting that same praise.
Our words are so important. I realize that more and more as I teach. How I phrase tasks makes a huge difference in how the students do it! How I praise or don't praise behavior I want to see makes a huge difference in the behavior of the students.
So why is this harder for me to accomplish at home?? I do give positive reinforcement verbally and in other ways to my daughter. But I feel I could do more. And I don't think I give nearly enough to my husband. They say it can feel unnatural at first to word things properly. But eventually it feels natural. So I will start practicing now! And I challenge you to notice this week how much specific positive praise you get or give!
In a teacher development workshop last week, I realized again the importance and effectiveness of positive reinforcement/feedback. Research shows that when you praise a specific behavior a child does, the likelihood of them doing it again increases tremendously, AND other students will mimic the behavior in hopes of getting that same praise.
Our words are so important. I realize that more and more as I teach. How I phrase tasks makes a huge difference in how the students do it! How I praise or don't praise behavior I want to see makes a huge difference in the behavior of the students.
So why is this harder for me to accomplish at home?? I do give positive reinforcement verbally and in other ways to my daughter. But I feel I could do more. And I don't think I give nearly enough to my husband. They say it can feel unnatural at first to word things properly. But eventually it feels natural. So I will start practicing now! And I challenge you to notice this week how much specific positive praise you get or give!
Friday, October 25, 2013
The Queen of Paralyzed Perfection
So my Health Challenge is almost done. Only one more week left. Have I lost eight pounds like I thought I could/should? Umm, no. Have I eaten less desserts/sweets? Yes! I have definitely done better, though not perfect, at not having dessert every day. Have I realized that I eat too much food sometimes, not just too much desserts? Yes! I thought my main problem was sweets, and if I cut those out I'd lose weight. But my mind? or whatever is so tricky, I just eat more of other foods to make up for the lack of sweets!
So I haven't lost as much weight as I wanted. But I have gained a new friend. She helped me decorate my bedroom, we went running together, we've laughed together, sent LOTS of texts, and supported each other through the challenge. Fun! I don't know why it's taken me so long to open up enough to get someone to do something like this with me. (Well, maybe I do know why, but that's another story).
The point is, I've been thinking about my 'issues' with food. And it's tied to my 'issue' of wanting to look good to other people on the outside in many ways. The way my house looks, the way I look. And that is all tied to 'issues' with perfectionism. I read an excellent article tonight in BYU Magazine (the magazine for alumni), titled "That's How the Light Gets In". This article is all about our desires for THE correct answer to something, or doing things 'Perfect" every time we do anything. The author, Tyler J. Jarvis, says, "You could say we are paralyzed by perfection." Well, I am the Queen of that! The Queen of not doing things til I can do them perfectly, thus there are many things I didn't do soon enough or wasn't brave enough to try!!!!
Jarvis gives four steps to becoming unparalyzed: 1) Admit and Accept Imperfection. I love the example he gives of his wife as a missionary. She and her companion wanted to obey ALL the mission rules exactly. But when they couldn't fit everything in their schedule, they realized it would take 25 hours/day! So they had to make do with an approximation, or in other words, admit and accept imperfection. But I've learned as I've taught PE full-time the past two years, 90% of success is just showing up! I may not be a perfect PE teacher, but if I just show up, I'm pretty good! That's accepting imperfection.
2) Work Hard to Get Your Best Approximation. "..admitting and accepting imperfection allows us to find imperfect but workable solutions to our personal and spiritual problems---but these solutions still require deep thought and hard work".
3) Act on Your Best Approximation. God wants us to take action! Go for it! Just do it! We WILL make mistakes! But do it anyway, because that is how we learn.
4) Do It Again. Meaning, repeat steps 1-3. As we do this, our knowledge will be refined and we will improve.
In Leonard Cohen's song "Anthem", we read:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
"Our bells are cracked. But let's ring those bells that still can ring. Stop worrying about your failure to achieve perfection---perfection is not possible in this life. Instead embrace the light and healing power of Christ that come in through our cracks and imperfections. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."
I love that idea. Now I'm doing the hard work to find my best approximation of eating healthy.
So I haven't lost as much weight as I wanted. But I have gained a new friend. She helped me decorate my bedroom, we went running together, we've laughed together, sent LOTS of texts, and supported each other through the challenge. Fun! I don't know why it's taken me so long to open up enough to get someone to do something like this with me. (Well, maybe I do know why, but that's another story).
The point is, I've been thinking about my 'issues' with food. And it's tied to my 'issue' of wanting to look good to other people on the outside in many ways. The way my house looks, the way I look. And that is all tied to 'issues' with perfectionism. I read an excellent article tonight in BYU Magazine (the magazine for alumni), titled "That's How the Light Gets In". This article is all about our desires for THE correct answer to something, or doing things 'Perfect" every time we do anything. The author, Tyler J. Jarvis, says, "You could say we are paralyzed by perfection." Well, I am the Queen of that! The Queen of not doing things til I can do them perfectly, thus there are many things I didn't do soon enough or wasn't brave enough to try!!!!
Jarvis gives four steps to becoming unparalyzed: 1) Admit and Accept Imperfection. I love the example he gives of his wife as a missionary. She and her companion wanted to obey ALL the mission rules exactly. But when they couldn't fit everything in their schedule, they realized it would take 25 hours/day! So they had to make do with an approximation, or in other words, admit and accept imperfection. But I've learned as I've taught PE full-time the past two years, 90% of success is just showing up! I may not be a perfect PE teacher, but if I just show up, I'm pretty good! That's accepting imperfection.
2) Work Hard to Get Your Best Approximation. "..admitting and accepting imperfection allows us to find imperfect but workable solutions to our personal and spiritual problems---but these solutions still require deep thought and hard work".
3) Act on Your Best Approximation. God wants us to take action! Go for it! Just do it! We WILL make mistakes! But do it anyway, because that is how we learn.
4) Do It Again. Meaning, repeat steps 1-3. As we do this, our knowledge will be refined and we will improve.
In Leonard Cohen's song "Anthem", we read:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
"Our bells are cracked. But let's ring those bells that still can ring. Stop worrying about your failure to achieve perfection---perfection is not possible in this life. Instead embrace the light and healing power of Christ that come in through our cracks and imperfections. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."
I love that idea. Now I'm doing the hard work to find my best approximation of eating healthy.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Here's to the First Step!
We all have 24 hours in our day, and we are all creatures of habit. It is so difficult to change some habits! It takes thought, and energy, and time. I feel the need to create some new afterschool and evening habits so that I am more productive, but haven't quite gotten that done yet. In the past couple of years, I've often been so tired after school, that it takes a couple of hours to just get some energy back! But I started taking several vitamins this past month, and I'm wondering if that's helping me feel less tired, because I do! Such a blessing to not be so exhausted after school!
I still think it's fine to have some kind of afterschool routine to unwind from the day. But then need to move on to other things. Wedding Album to finish! Cruise Album to finish! Family Album to finish! Learn a new song on the piano! Finish my knitted scarf! Start a crochet project! Not to mention start doing Family History research!! But it is so easy to let time slip by watching a tv show, or reading Facebook or emails. Plus sometimes my daughter needs me to help her with something, or go to a meeting or shopping with her.
Well, just have to plan what I can do, than take action and do it! Keep it simple. One project each day that I can work on. As the saying goes, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
I still think it's fine to have some kind of afterschool routine to unwind from the day. But then need to move on to other things. Wedding Album to finish! Cruise Album to finish! Family Album to finish! Learn a new song on the piano! Finish my knitted scarf! Start a crochet project! Not to mention start doing Family History research!! But it is so easy to let time slip by watching a tv show, or reading Facebook or emails. Plus sometimes my daughter needs me to help her with something, or go to a meeting or shopping with her.
Well, just have to plan what I can do, than take action and do it! Keep it simple. One project each day that I can work on. As the saying goes, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Five Tips for Breaking Bad Habits
Here is what I've learned the last few years about breaking/changing bad habits:
1. Turn to Christ first. Make Him the focus of your day by reading scriptures first thing in the morning, then throughout the day checking if you're still focused on Him.
2. Be willing to suffer for a season! Christ can help us change, but we have to do all we can! And changing bad habits is difficult. Just telling myself to expect some suffering for a while helps me prepare for it.
3. Replace bad habits with good. Again, rather than focusing only on the bad habit, start replacing it with good habits, one habit at a time. For instance, if eating dessert every night is the habit you want to change, replace it with drinking herbal tea or chewing gum at night. You can also replace it with an activity at night, such as playing piano/guitar or knitting.
4. Reach out to others. Friends are so important in life! Whether you have a friend that is working on a goal with you or is just a friend, they can be a support and listening ear. Plus it is just as important for you to ask how their life is going, and be their listening ear! It helps so much to get you 'out of your box'.
5. Notice your thoughts. Do you have thoughts of succeeding? Or do you lose faith in times of temptation? Write down the kind of person you want to be, then act as if you are already that person! In other words, 'Fake it til you Make it!'. There is a lot of power in that. As the saying goes, "Do the thing and you will have the power." I believe that! I've seen it work!
1. Turn to Christ first. Make Him the focus of your day by reading scriptures first thing in the morning, then throughout the day checking if you're still focused on Him.
2. Be willing to suffer for a season! Christ can help us change, but we have to do all we can! And changing bad habits is difficult. Just telling myself to expect some suffering for a while helps me prepare for it.
3. Replace bad habits with good. Again, rather than focusing only on the bad habit, start replacing it with good habits, one habit at a time. For instance, if eating dessert every night is the habit you want to change, replace it with drinking herbal tea or chewing gum at night. You can also replace it with an activity at night, such as playing piano/guitar or knitting.
4. Reach out to others. Friends are so important in life! Whether you have a friend that is working on a goal with you or is just a friend, they can be a support and listening ear. Plus it is just as important for you to ask how their life is going, and be their listening ear! It helps so much to get you 'out of your box'.
5. Notice your thoughts. Do you have thoughts of succeeding? Or do you lose faith in times of temptation? Write down the kind of person you want to be, then act as if you are already that person! In other words, 'Fake it til you Make it!'. There is a lot of power in that. As the saying goes, "Do the thing and you will have the power." I believe that! I've seen it work!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
The Best Kind of Art
Totally cried watching an episode of "Merlin" tonight. Sheesh. I am such a romantic. I cry at television shows. I love a good story with characters I believe and care about. As a teenager it was books that I devoured and lost myself in. Sometimes it is still books (The Hunger Games would be one). But also beautfiul dances (especially contemporary dance duets on So You Think You Can Dance), live musical theater (Les Miserables), and good movies. There is a lot of good art out there. But probably even more "bad" art, or maybe I should call it art that is technically well done, but is not uplifting in any sense, and appeals to man's base senses. I love the kind of art that makes me want to be a better person. That gives me hope. That shows the best in mankind, along with their struggles. That shows people who laugh together along with struggle together. Makes me want to keep trying to build that kind of connection in my own relationships. So others will be inspired and find hope.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Musings on Merlin
So I've cut back on tv watching this summer. Why waste the time unless I really like it, you know? But I wanted some interesting story to entertain me. So I'd heard the kids talk about the British series "Merlin", and decided to check it out. Watched a couple of episodes of the first season (there are now five seasons) and was hooked. Good writing, action, humor, romantic tension building very slowly, and characters I believe and like.
So I guess I'm a hopeless romantic. I am so happy to see Arthur fall for Guinevere in his awkward way, as a person who has been taught to treat servants a certain way. Then to see Guinevere and Lancelot fall for each other, and to see Arthur notice that they have affection for each other just breaks my heart! Maybe I should be rooting for Guinevere and Lancelot, but I'm not. I like Guinevere and Arthur. She is so good for him and his heart is genuinely kind! And of course I know how the story traditionally ends, but my daughter says to watch it because it may be different than what I expect. ???? I guess I will have to continue to watch!
So I guess I'm a hopeless romantic. I am so happy to see Arthur fall for Guinevere in his awkward way, as a person who has been taught to treat servants a certain way. Then to see Guinevere and Lancelot fall for each other, and to see Arthur notice that they have affection for each other just breaks my heart! Maybe I should be rooting for Guinevere and Lancelot, but I'm not. I like Guinevere and Arthur. She is so good for him and his heart is genuinely kind! And of course I know how the story traditionally ends, but my daughter says to watch it because it may be different than what I expect. ???? I guess I will have to continue to watch!
Friday, August 16, 2013
Where is Chivalry?
We've had three young men from the Ukraine and Moldova staying with us the past two weeks. One of them is very chivalrous/gentlemanly about helping me carry groceries, gettting things in cupboards that are too high for me, getting silverware unstuck from the dishwasher, etc. It has reminded me how much that is lacking in my life. Maybe it's my fault I haven't trained my husband to be that way more? My youngest son did start doing that kind of thing before he left. Anyway, I miss it. Or I should say, I've never had that kind of treatment, and I would like it. To be treated like I'm special and someone wants to be around me and help me. I guess we're all that way. But then again, am I treating others that way?
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Push the Pause Button
Why are our lives so much like the movie, "Groundhog Day"? Why do we keep doing the same actions when we don't like the results of them? Why does my husband keep putting his dirty dishes in the left sink instead of the right, when I've told him A MILLION times they go in the right side?? Why do I let myself be bothered or upset when he complains about his health problems? Why do I still use too many words to tell him what I'm doing, when he's told me over and over to "get to the point"?? I guess there are two issues here: 1) changing our reaction to things, and 2) learning to communicate more clearly verbally. You'd think they could be easily done by mature, educated adults. Hahaha! I guess that's why there is so much drama in life, and psychologists needed, attorneys, etc. etc. etc. We're human, and changing is not easy. Not impossible (though sometimes it seems so), but definitely not easy. I just need to think ahead and plan a different way to react, then make sure I push the PAUSE button when the same old routine starts to roll, and insert the new way of behaving. Finally get out of the endless loop and start a new scene in life. Cliche but true!
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