Five Tips for Breaking Bad Habits

Here is what I've learned the last few years about breaking/changing bad habits:

1.  Turn to Christ first.  Make Him the focus of your day by reading scriptures first thing in the morning, then throughout the day checking if you're still focused on Him.

2.  Be willing to suffer for a season!  Christ can help us change, but we have to do all we can!  And changing bad habits is difficult.  Just telling myself to expect some suffering for a while helps me prepare for it.

3.  Replace bad habits with good.  Again, rather than focusing only on the bad habit, start replacing it with good habits, one habit at a time.  For instance, if eating dessert every night is the habit you want to change, replace it with drinking herbal tea or chewing gum at night.  You can also replace it with an activity at night, such as playing piano/guitar or knitting.

4.  Reach out to others.  Friends are so important in life!  Whether you have a friend that is working on a goal with you or is just a friend, they can be a support and listening ear.  Plus it is just as important for you to ask how their life is going, and be their listening ear!  It helps so much to get you 'out of your box'.

5.  Notice your thoughts.  Do you have thoughts of succeeding?  Or do you lose faith in times of temptation?  Write down the kind of person you want to be, then act as if you are already that person!  In other words, 'Fake it til you Make it!'.  There is a lot of power in that.  As the saying goes, "Do the thing and you will have the power."  I believe that!  I've seen it work!

The Best Kind of Art

Totally cried watching an episode of "Merlin" tonight.  Sheesh.  I am such a romantic.  I cry at television shows.  I love a good story with characters I believe and care about.  As a teenager it was books that I devoured and lost myself in.  Sometimes it is still books (The Hunger Games would be one).  But also beautfiul dances (especially contemporary dance duets on So You Think You Can Dance), live musical theater (Les Miserables), and good movies.  There is a lot of good art out there.  But probably even more "bad" art, or maybe I should call it art that is technically well done, but is not uplifting in any sense, and appeals to man's base senses.  I love the kind of art that makes me want to be a better person.  That gives me hope.  That shows the best in mankind, along with their struggles.  That shows  people who laugh together along with struggle together.  Makes me want to keep trying to build that kind of connection in my own relationships.  So others will be inspired and find hope.

Musings on Merlin

So I've cut back on tv watching this summer.  Why waste the time unless I really like it, you know?  But I wanted some interesting story to entertain me.  So I'd heard the kids talk about the British series "Merlin", and decided to check it out.  Watched a couple of episodes of the first season (there are now five seasons) and was hooked.  Good writing, action, humor, romantic tension building very slowly, and characters I believe and like.

So I guess I'm a hopeless romantic.  I am so happy to see Arthur fall for Guinevere in his awkward way, as a person who has been taught to treat servants a certain way.  Then to see Guinevere and Lancelot fall for each other, and to see Arthur notice that they have affection for each other just breaks my heart!  Maybe I should be rooting for Guinevere and Lancelot, but I'm not.  I like Guinevere and Arthur.  She is so good for him and his heart is genuinely kind!  And of course I know how the story traditionally ends, but my daughter says to watch it because it may be different than what I expect.  ????   I guess I will have to continue to watch!

Where is Chivalry?

We've had three young men from the Ukraine and Moldova staying with us the past two weeks.  One of them is very chivalrous/gentlemanly about helping me carry groceries, gettting things in cupboards that are too high for me, getting silverware unstuck from the dishwasher, etc. It has reminded me how much that is lacking in my life.  Maybe it's my fault I haven't trained my husband to be that way more?  My youngest son did start doing that kind of thing before he left.  Anyway, I miss it.  Or I should say, I've never had that kind of treatment, and I would like it.  To be treated like I'm special and someone wants to be around me and help me.  I guess we're all that way. But then again, am I treating others that way?

Push the Pause Button

Why are our lives so much like the movie, "Groundhog Day"? Why do we keep doing the same actions when we don't like the results of them?  Why does my husband keep putting his dirty dishes in the left sink instead of the right, when I've told him A MILLION  times they go in the right side??  Why do I let myself be bothered or upset when he complains about his health problems?  Why do I still use too many words to tell him what I'm doing, when he's told me over and over to "get to the point"??  I guess there are two issues here:  1) changing our reaction to things, and 2) learning to communicate more clearly verbally.  You'd think they could be easily done by mature, educated adults.  Hahaha!  I guess that's why there is so much drama in life, and psychologists needed, attorneys, etc. etc. etc.  We're human, and changing is not easy.  Not impossible (though sometimes it seems so), but definitely not easy.  I just need to think ahead and plan a different way to react, then make sure I push the PAUSE button when the same old routine starts to roll, and insert the new way of behaving.  Finally get out of the endless loop and start a new scene in life.  Cliche but true!

It's a Sad, Sad Sunday

I'm missing my youngest son tonight.  Sunday evenings are hard for me.  What should I be doing with my time, and what do I actually do?  Son #3 could be depended on to liven things up with his smile, his humor, his music, or by creating some action by bringing friends over.  I guess I don't create enough action of my own.  Or maybe this is just the let-down after the busybusybusy summer I've had.  Good thing I've got work starting this Thursday.  I need more structure.

Letting Go

Been pondering how last summer I was at a weight I like for myself.  And it seemed easy to stay there.  A combination of things got me there without really 'trying',  mainly a regular work schedule and getting sick for a month, such that I was so tired that I didn't eat after dinner.  Once I was at that weight, as I said, it was easy to stay there.  I didn't obsess about it.  Just ate less overall and didn't eat after dinner usually.  And ate pretty healthily but didn't completely deny myself anything.  I stayed at that weight all last winter (a year ago), spring, and summer on my Greece cruise and trip to San Diego (where I surfed for the first time).

Then when school started again last fall, I started eating treats at night.  Gained 5 lbs. in fall.  Another 5 over the holidays.  Pretty much have stayed around there within a couple of pounds since.  Food and especially sweets are the comfort I turn to.  Like a lot of people.  I don't understand why I didn't turn to them during that particular time.  Doesn't matter.  Just need to go back to that.

 I always try too hard at things I want.  Somehow have to keep re-learning to not try so hard!  How do you do that?  You let go.  That seems to be a lesson I am learning over and over my entire life.  Letting go.  What does that mean??  For me it means putting some effort in to reaching goals, but not too much.  Don't focus only on what I want.  Lighten up, laugh, have moderation, open up to other people, serve others, be involved in things that interest me.  I guess it's just letting go of that image of perfection in my brain.  The closest I come to feeling like I let go is doing modern dance, which is probably why I love it (and the little surfing I've done feels like it could be that way also).  So here's to modern dance and surfing!!